Favorite Poker Quotes

TheGameKatTheGameKat Posts: 2,142 -
“You must take your opponent into a deep dark forest where 2+2=5, and the path leading out is only wide enough for one.”

Isn't that great? Unfortunately for the thread title it was said by Mikhail Tal about chess.

I've always been somewhat unimpressed by poker quotes. Doesn't our game deserve better than that miserable song by Kenny Rogers or incomprehensible stuff about luck and climbing through windows? Sure there are a couple of zingers from Rounders, but given some of the wordsmiths who have played poker (Mark Twain leading that list), you'd think we'd have a better collection.

Have I just missed the gems? What are your favorite quotes?
Moderation In Moderation


  • NYCRyNYCRy Red Chipper Posts: 336 ✭✭✭
    Gus: "Well I've got Ten high so there's probably no way I'm going to fold. Yeah I call."
    Antonio: "I don't get it. The guy's lost his mind"

    haha the good old days
  • NYCRyNYCRy Red Chipper Posts: 336 ✭✭✭
  • Albert AAlbert A Red Chipper Posts: 95 ✭✭
    "You call it's all over, baby!" Scotty Nguyen

    Of course the Rounders one about, "If you can't spot the sucker at the table....."

    At the room I play in a drunk guy no one had seen before left after losing his 2nd buy-in at the cash table: "You guys are just a bunch of shit callers and bad poker players!" Everyone was repeating that one to each other for a couple of weeks:)

    This one is a little off thread. It's not a line but it's kind of funny. On "Poker After Dark" Phil Hellmuth busted out of a cash game and left the room mumbling that he might quit. David(?) "Vipper" Peet takes his place at the table. Hellmuth comes back in with copies of his book and starts giving them away to the players.
    Vipper, "Can you sign this for me?"
    Hellmuth, "Yes, of course."
    Vipper, "Not you... Doyle, can you sign this?"

  • persuadeopersuadeo Red Chipper, Table Captain Posts: 4,008 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Explain why that song is miserable.

    There was a long thread on this already that had quite a few good ones.
  • TheGameKatTheGameKat Posts: 2,142 -
    persuadeo wrote: »
    Explain why that song is miserable.

    Mostly the bassline?
    Moderation In Moderation
  • NYCRyNYCRy Red Chipper Posts: 336 ✭✭✭
    "You've either got 4-5 or 5-6, I call."

    Stuey calling Monsour Matloubi with Ten high in a heads up match 1990 on a 337KQ board to bust him. Matloubi wasn't heard from again after this. Things didn't go great for Stuey either though
  • TheGameKatTheGameKat Posts: 2,142 -
    He that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.
    Sigmund Freud
    Moderation In Moderation
  • Sal NascondiglioSal Nascondiglio Red Chipper Posts: 11 ✭✭
    Gus Hansen: "I love when the pros debate about folding kings full on the river" hahaha
  • pocket22duecespocket22dueces Red Chipper Posts: 9 ✭✭
    1. If there wasn't a river, there wouldn't be any fish
    2. Welcome to value city. population - You!
  • keith ckeith c Red Chipper Posts: 142 ✭✭
    Poker is a game of people. Played with cards.
  • jeffncjeffnc Red Chipper Posts: 4,683 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Huge losing player in my local game - after losing his 6th buyin of the night:

    "You know, I used to think this game was rigged, now I know for a fact it is."

    "Gimme another thousand."
  • jfarrow13jfarrow13 Red Chipper Posts: 1,254 ✭✭✭✭
    The Wire
    Scene setting : drug kingpins are playing a big cash private game.

    Unnamed kingpin: "flush to the queen"
    Marlo: "full house" and reaches to collect the large pot
    Omar busts into the card game, two quite large hand guns drawn, and says "I don't know much about cards, but uh I think these four fives beats a full house"

    And then another gem from this robbery scene, which I think poker players can appreciate:
    Marlo: "That's my money"
    Omar: "Man, money ain't got no owners, only spenders"
  • EazzyEazzy Red Chipper Posts: 955 ✭✭✭✭
    Taking a slightly different slant here.....these are poker wisdom's I often here regs at my table regularly spout"

    "be careful If you get stuck a couple of hundred in this game you can't make it back"

    "AK is only a drawing hand"

    "I hate JJ sometimes its AQ AK"

    "Kings are Ace magnets"

  • BoilerAceBoilerAce Red Chipper Posts: 400 ✭✭
    edited July 2018
    We have a very loose guy that dumps money at our home game about every time he plays. He loves to call everything and open a couple of dollars every street. He was extremely annoyed when he was continually getting raised one night because he doesn't know how to defend it.....and his comment to the raiser was....

    "You're Ruining Poker!!!"

    We use that line all the time now.
  • Ryan707Ryan707 Red Chipper Posts: 20 ✭✭
    "In the poker game of life, women are the rake..." -Worm
  • GGECKOGGECKO Washington, D.C.Red Chipper Posts: 111 ✭✭✭
    Money won is twice as sweet as money earned - Fast Eddie Felson, The Color of Money
  • EazzyEazzy Red Chipper Posts: 955 ✭✭✭✭
    From a 100 year old player, who likes to play 2-4, and I'm told limps every hand... his son... (who I play with regularly) told me when people suggest he should tighten up a bit his reply is.

    "I don't play poker to make money, I have money, if I wanted money I would get a job"

    He also beat me out of a high hand, 1 minute before the 1/2 hour was up....I'm currently trying to get an upper age limit of 99 to qualify for the high hand establish where I play....

  • EazzyEazzy Red Chipper Posts: 955 ✭✭✭✭
    Was watching an old episode of I've Got A Secret from 1972 on Youtube....with Amarillo Slim , which had two quotes I liked.

    His secret was he had lost $190,000 in one poker game...

    When asked does his lack of sleep ever influence his play he replied
    You have enough incentive to stay awake

    and when asked what had happened
    Occasionally the lambs slaughter the butcher

  • TravisTravis Red Chipper Posts: 455 ✭✭✭
    Can't remember who said this one ...
    "If people played hold an the way they play PLO and played PLO the way they play hold an they would do much better"
  • TravisTravis Red Chipper Posts: 455 ✭✭✭
    "I always know the math. I just don't always follow it" me lol
  • AustinAustin Red Chipper Posts: 5,483 ✭✭✭✭✭
    When asked does his lack of sleep ever influence his play he replied -
    You have enough incentive to stay awake

    Really like this one @Eazzy
  • moishetreatsmoishetreats Red Chipper Posts: 1,819 ✭✭✭✭
    Ros B wrote: »
    Charles Bukowski “If you don’t gamble, you’ll never win.”

    I love this quote in life but I hate it in poker.

    I am in the camp of advocates who believe that poker is a game of skill, not of gambling. And I an in the camp of poker players who believes that any "gambling" mindset that one brings to poker is sub-optimal.

    Except at local, small-stakes home games or tourney, I am not at the poker table to gamble. (And if I am, then I am undoubtedly on tilt.)
  • jeffncjeffnc Red Chipper Posts: 4,683 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I think gambling means putting money in with a probabilistic outcome of a payback.
  • moishetreatsmoishetreats Red Chipper Posts: 1,819 ✭✭✭✭
    jeffnc wrote: »
    I think gambling means putting money in with a probabilistic outcome of a payback.

    I consider gambling taking a risky action. In poker, I don't think that I'm looking to take a risky action*; I think poker is about purposefully constructing a set of actions that have the highest likelihood of leading to a desired outcome.

    To me, that's not "gambling". Blackjack is gambling. Playing the lottery gambling. Not poker.

    *Sure, by definition, any action in theory could be a risky one... If we're just arguing semantics, then we all agree.
  • jeffncjeffnc Red Chipper Posts: 4,683 ✭✭✭✭✭
    So what you really seem to be saying is that if it's +EV, it's not gambling.
  • Fernando OFernando O Red Chipper Posts: 77 ✭✭
    "I knew he had that."
    When I tire of listening to that banal turd I volunteer to make a market for those who care to use their hand-reading ability, and I insist, since they are so deft at their hand and soul reading craft, they lay generous odds. My offer tends to have the intended effect - they STFU

    "If you can't spot the sucker at the table, you're the sucker."
    That is so stupid it drools. The entire point of a con is to get the sucker to think someone else is the sucker.

    "It's a freeroll. They're giving away money."
    Don't get me started.

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file