It's not perfect but its funny. (written for a friend who bluffs to much)

keith ckeith c Red Chipper Posts: 142 ✭✭
Oh, my, God Becky, look at his stack
It is so big, he looks like
One of those poker pro dudes
But, ya know, who understands those poker guys?
They only talk to him, because,
He looks like a total pro, 'kay?
I mean, his stack, is just so big
I can't believe it's just so tall, it's like out there
I mean wow, look
He's just so, stacked

I like big bluffs and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a player limp in with itty bitty bets
And a Ace King in your face
You get sprung, want to raise up tough
'Cause you notice that bet was stuffed
Deep in the stack he's swearing
I see his chips and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I want to stack ya'
And take a picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that stack you got makes (me so horny)
Ooh, stack-o'-red-chips
You say you want to get my chips?
Well, call me, call me
'Cause you ain't that average groupie
I've seen you foldin'
To hell with that I'm callin'
the pot's growin, it's set,
betting at it like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of lazy threes
Sayin' flat bets are the thing
Take the average player and ask him that
He gotta big fat bet
So, fellas (Yeah) Fellas (Yeah)
Can you do the bluff? (Hell yeah)
Tell 'em to shove it (shove it) shove it (shove it)
Shove that healthy bluff
Baby got bluffs
Baby got bluffs

I like pots round, and big
And when I'm throwin' 'em in
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I want to get your chips
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout small bets boys,
'Cause white chips are made for toys
I want pots thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Players in alot of trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at poker videos
Weak donks bettin' like pros
You can have them limpo's
I'll keep my betting like a pro bro
A word to the deep stack playas, I want to 86 ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I want to bluff
Til the break of dawn
my big bluffs got it goin' on
A lot of donks won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the bluffin' on
So, ladies (yeah) Ladies (yeah)
If you want to rack my chips up(yeah)
Then turn around, stack 'em up
Even donk boys got to shout
bluff got cracked
bluff got cracked

Yeah, baby, when it comes to bluffs
player ain't got nothin'
To do with my position
three bet - four bet- 5 bet - six
So your girlfriend rolls up behind ya, sweating you like workout tapes by Fonda
But she ain't got chips so make her put a hondo
My big bluff don't want none
Unless you've got chips, hon
You can do side looks or stare downs
But please don't call that bluff
Some brothers want to play that hard role
And tell you that the bluff ain't go
So they fold it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So dealers says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that
'Cause your bets are small and your folds are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
it to you with my chips
You can call this freaking thing
Give me chips sir, I can't resist 'em
Red chips and whites didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to call
'Cause his chips are on my list
He had game but he chose to shove 'em
And I pull up quick bluff 'em

So players, if the chips are down,
And you want a triple up throw down
Dial 1-900-MY-SPLASH-POT
And kick them nasty bluffs
bluffs got cracked
bluffs got cracked

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